My Way or the Highway- Dealing with my OCD

I have joked for years that I have slight OCD mannerisms.  As I have gotten older it has really become apparent to me that I have to have things just right to my specifications.  I enjoy tasks that keep me focused on the little details.  I mentioned in my post on cloth diapering that I like to do laundry, that's not a lie.  I like sorting, folding, organizing and putting it in it's place.  With that being said, if you don't do it my way to my specifications when trying to "help me" then it isn't help.  I would much rather do it myself to begin with because no question if it isn't my way I will 100% of the time redo it so in essence your helping has just added more work to my plate.  Same way with my dishwasher, I can open it and immediately know if someone put something in, simply because it is in the wrong place.  It isn't helpful to do that in my house because I will stand there and fix it every time.  There is a standing rule, leave the dishes in the sink I will get to them.  I am not kidding when I ask that.

As a Southern woman I understand the ingrained need to chip in and help but I am not being a martyr when I ask you to leave my kitchen alone or that I don't need help washing/folding laundry because I honestly 100% do not want help.  People thought this would change when the children units were born because I would be exhausted or have my focus somewhere else but it has honestly only made me more focused and organized.  I have heard many people say off the cuff that the spousal unit should "at least do your own laundry" "help with the dishes" and so on and so forth.  Thankfully we are capable enough of handling our own relationship and he understands that I am 100% content to do it all myself.  If by chance I do need his help with something he will jump right in and help, no questions asked.  Several of my friends know that if they come over for dinner I expect them to sit in the kitchen and talk to me when I am cooking.  If I need help I will ask for it, I promise.  You can even feel free to offer but don't ever expect me to take you up on it.  

I really think that once the boys were born my switch flipped to make me more urber focused on the little things.

Cloth Diapering and Why I Do It...

There are many reasons people these days choose to cloth diaper.  I share a few of the major ones as many people and I have a few reasons that others may or may not have.

#1:  One of my main reasons is cost.  

This is a very popular reason, maybe tied with the natural benefits of it being greener than disposables.  I have twins, thats double the love but double the cost as well.  I can't breastfeed due to some things in my past and knew that coming in.  So I knew we would be spending some big bucks to feed the babies so I started thinking of ways I could curb some of the cost of two babies and cloth diapers was one of the first things that came to mind.  I did use disposables for the first month because they were so small and lets be honest here, there were two new people who needed a lot of attention that I needed to adjust to.  So since January 3rd I have changed anywhere from 14-18 diapers a day, if using disposables I would prefer Pampers so that would cost about $25/ every 5 Days.  So doing that math it comes to about $380 until the end of March.  I spent around $850 for my entire cloth stash.  So we are almost halfway to making it back and it's only been 3 months.  Now I did look at our water bill and it's gone up between $15 & $20 a month since December when the boys were born but that also includes their regular laundry that we are having to wash plus the water needed to mix with formula.  I made the laundry detergent that I use for the diapers and I believe I spent around $30 for those supplies, and it should last me at least 6 months longer than it already has.

#2:  They are so dang cute!

I mean honestly, would this picture be as cute if they were in disposables?  This is one of my not as popular reasons!

#3: I've seen what disposables can do.

I have a background that required me to change a lot of diapers and I have seen the rashes that happen when babies are in disposables.  When I was debating to cloth or not to cloth I questioned a friend that had done them with her son and she said he only had a touch of a rash once in his 2 years of cloth.  

That was a major selling point for me.  I had a little girl once who kept getting these rashes that looked like chemical burns and no matter how often we changed her or what kind of creams the parents tried it didn't really help.

#4:  I don't mind laundry.

I know I know, "What is she thinking" but honestly laundry sort of helps me keep a zen about me.  I have time to focus some of my OCD by sorting, folding and such and I honestly have worked diaper laundry into my daily routine with the boys.  I make the stuffing/folding part happen in the morning while the boys have their tummy time and I sit on the floor and we talk and play together while I'm doing it.

#5:  I'm a hippie at heart.

I went to Appalachian and lets be honest here if you spend anytime in Boone you come out with a little hippie in you even if you didn't have it going in!


With all of that said some people are probably thinking "Still it's a lot of work and not for me" and that's fine the good news is that everyone is allowed the right to choose how to raise their own children.

There is a learning curve to it and it takes everyone involved a while to get to where they are comfortable changing the babies and making sure they are tight enough so they don't leak out everywhere.

My spousal unit didn't have a hard time adjusting because before our boys he hadn't ever changed a diaper so he just went with what I taught him.

When the boys were smaller (under 8.5 pounds) I used the "old fashioned" prefolds and covers.  I LOVED THESE and sort of wished I still had some.  They were harder but I found that I could fold them to catch things better.  Hands down this is the cheapest option in cloth diapering.  This is a picture of one with the cover on.  I don't have one of the boys with just the cloth part.

Now that they are over 8.5 pounds we use the one size diapers that will grow with them until they are potty trained!  In the pictures below you can see that they are on different snaps to make it work for different sized babies!

They also make velcro which I only had 2 of during the newborn stage because they have the ability to learn to unhook that more so than the snaps!

If you have any questions about cloth diapering I will gladly answer your questions or at least help point you to a source that hopefully can answer them if I can't answer them!  If you cloth leave a comment letting me know your main reasons!

PURPLE crying

I have heard about The Period of PURPLE Crying and in the hospital we were given a DVD about it that I honestly didn't think we needed because hey I'm a professional child care provider I can handle this.

Ummmm no.  

About 3-4 weeks ago Child Unit #2 started crying on a Sunday evening around 5.  He had recently been diagnosed with an inguinal hernia so I of course freaked out that it had become strangulated and we needed to rush to the hospital so I changed his diaper to check.  That wasn't the issue, and even the clean tush didn't seem to help.  

So I made him a small bottle because he had just eaten an hour or so before and shouldn't be that hungry.  That didn't work.

I gave him his pacifier.  That didn't work.

I tried skin to skin.  That didn't work.

I tried rocking him.  That didn't work.

The spousal unit tried holding him and doing skin to skin.  That didn't work.

I tried the pacifier again with rocking.  Still nothing.

An hour and a half later I tried rocking, pacifier, and swaddling him, IT WORKED!

We were both at our wits end and if it hadn't stopped I don't know what we would have done.  I was in tears too!  Thankfully child unit #1 was happy and content this entire time!  When it was over I just sat there holding him tight rocking him and loving him praying that we wouldn't have to deal with it anymore ever again.  

I didn't get what I asked for, every night around 5 I hold my breath to see what is going to happen and he has gotten to the point where he waits until the spousal unit is home before letting loose.  Thankfully I now know what works and I break out the trifecta at the first minute as long as I know it isn't hunger or diaper related.  Once he calms down I can even lay him in the bouncer still swaddled and with his pacifier with me in the kitchen so I can cook dinner.  It isn't every night but it is there every so often!

Needless to say, after that first night of an hour and a half we watched the DVD and were reassured that this is normal and there isn't anything wrong with him!

The word PURPLE is an acronym and stands for:

P: peak of crying

U: unexpected (you can say that again)

R: resists soothing

P: pain like expression

L: long lasting

E: evening

The DVD said that between months 2-3 it's at the worst and then gets better by month 5.  As we approach 3 months this weekend I hope we are coming to the light at the end of the tunnel!

Until next time!

My style of parenting...

As you may or maynot know, my background is Early Childhood.  Ever since high school I have been focused on tiny humans from birth to age five.  I graduated high school with the equivalent of the Early Childhood Credentials but they had changed the program my senior year to the fact that to acquire the "ECC's" you had to go to a class at the community college.  Since I decided to go to a 4 year school I didn't make the choice to actually get the credentials.  So I went to ECU and then transferred to ASU to finish up my BS in Child Development.  With all that said I have a lot of knowledge of how children develop and what practices are in child care in North Carolina.

Working in child care is not being a parent.  However, it prepared me greatly for the life that comes with being a parent.  Having twins is a very difficult thing for people who have twins and are first time parents.  Did you know that the state of NC ratio for infants to care givers in a classroom is 5:1?  In the higher star centers it's 4:1, these are the types of center's I've always worked in.  I came into this prepared for caring for multiple children at once.  No I have not ever work primarily in an infant classroom but I have work in there as coverage if needed.

I am not a read a book and follow it kind of parent.  In fact the spousal unit and I didn't even take birthing classes because we felt we had a good grip on things.  I did buy a book about twin pregnancies so I knew what to expect as we went though.  I enjoyed it but when it got to week 36 and I was giving birth I put it on the shelf and didn't flip any further into it about "life after birth."

I am also not a schedule type of parent.  I have two very strong minded babies.  One of them LOVES TO EAT and will eat anytime you put a bottle in his mouth!  The other will ONLY eat when he is STARVING.  Seriously he puckers his mouth and you can't put the bottle in his mouth, he is very strong willed!  I totally believe in routine and the fact that every day is different so it can be bent and molded to what I need to get done.  

I also believe that there is no reason that my life has to be significantly different now than it was in November or even last March.  My parents live 3 hours away am I going to stop visiting them just because the boys beds are here?  Hell no.  Am I going to stop taking a weekend trip to the beach if that's what I want to do?  Ummm NO!  My personal belief is that babies can handle life as you live it and there's no reason to change!  

My biggest belief is that if it doesn't work for me, I am the parent I can change things around to make it work for us!

I have also caught some flack from people about choosing to cloth diaper.  #1, The way you cloth diaper has been revolutionized since I was a baby.  #2, am I asking anyone to help me wash/dry/stuff the diapers?  No I chose to do this and I am understanding that my friends and family didn't make the choice.  I do love the fact that our families seem to have embraced the cloth diapers and will change the boys!  Be on the look out for a post about my reasons for choosing to cloth!

I'm sure that as the boys grow and/or we add to our family my feelings and style of parenting will develop and evolve, as everyone's does.  And I've got to go for now because those two tiny humans that were actually both napping at the same time are now stirring!