I became a mother last night...

So I am sure some of you just read the title and thought Umm, Olivia you became a mother in April last year when you took that test to say you were pregnant or even in December when those two adorable boys were born.  And sure you are correct in the fact that yes technically that is when I became a mother however, this morning at 3 when I was awake rocking a baby that had been awake off and on since 11 because he is sick and so snotty he cant breath and wants his pacifier to sleep but can't breath if he has his pacifier.  He kept tossing and turning covering me in snot no matter how many times I used the Nose Frida to suck his nose dry I thought this is love, this is what being a mother is really about.  Loving your child so much that you just want them to feel better and not suffer is all you care about dispite that hands down this and last night are the worst two nights since bringing these boys home, even worse than the every three hour feeding nights by far.

Now I sit here sipping my second cup of coffee of the morning wishing that I had actually gotten a decent nights sleep but knowing that these babies are everything and hoping that tonight they sleep so I can sleep because mommy never goes off duty!  The bad thing is my throat is now scratchie and I have a runny nose.  Oh don't we love when they share!

Until next time when I am feeling better and have slept more!

My World is Being OVERTAKEN!

So I always thought that I would be one of those people who could/would keep all baby related items secluded to their room.  UMMMMM I currently have 1 room in my house that doesn't have something baby related in it and that's the dining room and high chairs do and can go in there when they are needed.

I kid you not, in our bedroom currently there is a pack n play set up, toys on my floor and one of the boys lovies just hanging out, in our bathroom we have baby wash, a tub faucet protector that looks like a duck and a walker.  Yesterday there was a Johnny Jump Up on the door there too.  I'm sure some people are thinking, "really a walker in the bathroom, seriously WTF?"  Well let me help you, if you have something you have to do that requires you to shower and you have two babies there isn't much option for a shower unless one or both is in the bathroom with you.  Mine cat nap and during those sweet glorious 30-45 minutes that they actually sleep at the same time I have dishes, laundry and other important household things that I have to do.  Which means playtime in mommy's bathroom while she showers and gets ready.  

Back to my issue at hand they are seriously taking over my world which I suppose I should just accept since they took over my body and mind a while ago.  Seriously, it's amazing that now if I have some "extra" money I would rather just spend it on them and not myself.....another lesson learned as a mother.

An update on the sleep training: naptimes are getting better.  They will now sleep in their own cribs at naptime without screaming as though they are being poked by thousands of nails!  WIN!  However, nights are still hard because let's be honest here, my sleep is the most important thing to me between the hours of 11 PM and 6 AM and if I can quiet the baby down by bringing him to bed with me rather than sit up with him screaming you can better believe what I'll be choosing!

Until Next Time...

What is my biggest surprise as a mom...

I have had so many people ask me what my biggest surprise of being a mom is, I honestly think the biggest one is how their cries pull at every raw nerve inside of me.  I have never been a fan of the Cry It Out method of sleep training with children under 2 because those children do not have the words to express what they need but understand that a modified version to work toward sleeping on their own and developing self soothing techniques is important.  It isn't something I ever see myself doing hardcore but we did start working on transitioning from me having to rock them to sleep EVERY NAP AND NIGHT to laying them down with music and awake to work it out themselves.  Naptime today just about killed me, Plain and Simple.  I laid them down each in their own beds, the same beds that they have slept in most nights since the night they came home from the hospital, you would think these beds transition into beds of nails during the day time based on how they react to being placed in them.  I turned on the music walked out and closed the door.  I had to start a load of diaper laundry so I figured this would be a good time.  I decided that I would let them cry until I got that all taken care of then go back in.  It took me 6 minutes, I went in expecting the crying to be coming from Child Unit 1 well I was wrong it was Child Unit 2 who was loosing his mind.  Only upon seeing me did Child Unit 1 start!  I did a switch between the two of patting backs/rubbing heads until they were both down, 10 minutes and 20 minutes.  They proceeded to sleep for 1.5 hours!  That's the longest morning nap they have taken in a LONG TIME!  Tonight was a bit better so we'll see how it goes!

 As a child care provider crying never really got under my skin because it is a part of every day existence.  These two babies cry and I do a combination of melting because I have to care for their every wish and need but it also pulls every nerve in my body to that space in your head you only really understand as a mother.  It makes me crazy to the fact that I will do whatever it takes to help my child!  So needless to say that in the 20 minutes this morning that my perfect angles were crying their little eyes out it broke my heart, but I sat there to let them know I am with them and I love them.  I pray it gets better or I will be one of those people who has their children sleeping with them as long as the children want and lets be honest, Child Unit 1 moves too much in his sleep for that to good for anyone!  

The love that I have for these boys greatly surpasses anything I could have ever imagined and the fact that it grows so much every day also surprises me as a mother just so that's out there!

         

Identical doesn't always mean the same...

So when we were told we were having identical twins I was beyond thrilled because I have always wanted twins.  I was shocked to say the least but very excited.  I was really freaked out as the months went on and I got more and more pregnant that I wouldn't be able to tell the boys apart.  Thankfully that hasn't been an issue for me.  Mainly because Child Unit 1 is 2.5 pounds heavier than Child Unit 2.  However, even if they were the same size there are significant personality differences, Child Unit 2 is Mr. Personality he will smile and flirt with any woman he sees most of the time and that includes if he is frustrated with me or stuck in his carseat.  I believe he thinks if he's cute enough someone will get him out of the seat.....  He's also the one that tends to be a little more high maintenance which is fine, at least they aren't both high maintenance!  With that all being said I guess when they were born I figured they would develop at about the same rate and all because they are identical.....you would think with my education and background I would have known better but still they are IDENTICAL!  Like smiling, Child Unit 1 did it first, well before his brother and the same goes for scooting, rolling and so on and so forth.  Now Child Unit 2 did have surgery and it took him a few weeks to regulate from that and I'm sure that had some to do with it.

I do however have to question Nature vs. Nurture when it comes to having identical babies that are so different because they are the same nature and I nurture them both the exact same way and yet they are so different in their manerisms and personalities.  I know that everyone is their own person, I just find it so interesting to see their little differences and I can't wait to keep observing them as they continue to grow.  Well they are up and at it from their nap!

My Way or the Highway- Dealing with my OCD

I have joked for years that I have slight OCD mannerisms.  As I have gotten older it has really become apparent to me that I have to have things just right to my specifications.  I enjoy tasks that keep me focused on the little details.  I mentioned in my post on cloth diapering that I like to do laundry, that's not a lie.  I like sorting, folding, organizing and putting it in it's place.  With that being said, if you don't do it my way to my specifications when trying to "help me" then it isn't help.  I would much rather do it myself to begin with because no question if it isn't my way I will 100% of the time redo it so in essence your helping has just added more work to my plate.  Same way with my dishwasher, I can open it and immediately know if someone put something in, simply because it is in the wrong place.  It isn't helpful to do that in my house because I will stand there and fix it every time.  There is a standing rule, leave the dishes in the sink I will get to them.  I am not kidding when I ask that.

As a Southern woman I understand the ingrained need to chip in and help but I am not being a martyr when I ask you to leave my kitchen alone or that I don't need help washing/folding laundry because I honestly 100% do not want help.  People thought this would change when the children units were born because I would be exhausted or have my focus somewhere else but it has honestly only made me more focused and organized.  I have heard many people say off the cuff that the spousal unit should "at least do your own laundry" "help with the dishes" and so on and so forth.  Thankfully we are capable enough of handling our own relationship and he understands that I am 100% content to do it all myself.  If by chance I do need his help with something he will jump right in and help, no questions asked.  Several of my friends know that if they come over for dinner I expect them to sit in the kitchen and talk to me when I am cooking.  If I need help I will ask for it, I promise.  You can even feel free to offer but don't ever expect me to take you up on it.  

I really think that once the boys were born my switch flipped to make me more urber focused on the little things.

Cloth Diapering and Why I Do It...

There are many reasons people these days choose to cloth diaper.  I share a few of the major ones as many people and I have a few reasons that others may or may not have.

#1:  One of my main reasons is cost.  

This is a very popular reason, maybe tied with the natural benefits of it being greener than disposables.  I have twins, thats double the love but double the cost as well.  I can't breastfeed due to some things in my past and knew that coming in.  So I knew we would be spending some big bucks to feed the babies so I started thinking of ways I could curb some of the cost of two babies and cloth diapers was one of the first things that came to mind.  I did use disposables for the first month because they were so small and lets be honest here, there were two new people who needed a lot of attention that I needed to adjust to.  So since January 3rd I have changed anywhere from 14-18 diapers a day, if using disposables I would prefer Pampers so that would cost about $25/ every 5 Days.  So doing that math it comes to about $380 until the end of March.  I spent around $850 for my entire cloth stash.  So we are almost halfway to making it back and it's only been 3 months.  Now I did look at our water bill and it's gone up between $15 & $20 a month since December when the boys were born but that also includes their regular laundry that we are having to wash plus the water needed to mix with formula.  I made the laundry detergent that I use for the diapers and I believe I spent around $30 for those supplies, and it should last me at least 6 months longer than it already has.

#2:  They are so dang cute!

I mean honestly, would this picture be as cute if they were in disposables?  This is one of my not as popular reasons!

#3: I've seen what disposables can do.

I have a background that required me to change a lot of diapers and I have seen the rashes that happen when babies are in disposables.  When I was debating to cloth or not to cloth I questioned a friend that had done them with her son and she said he only had a touch of a rash once in his 2 years of cloth.  

That was a major selling point for me.  I had a little girl once who kept getting these rashes that looked like chemical burns and no matter how often we changed her or what kind of creams the parents tried it didn't really help.

#4:  I don't mind laundry.

I know I know, "What is she thinking" but honestly laundry sort of helps me keep a zen about me.  I have time to focus some of my OCD by sorting, folding and such and I honestly have worked diaper laundry into my daily routine with the boys.  I make the stuffing/folding part happen in the morning while the boys have their tummy time and I sit on the floor and we talk and play together while I'm doing it.

#5:  I'm a hippie at heart.

I went to Appalachian and lets be honest here if you spend anytime in Boone you come out with a little hippie in you even if you didn't have it going in!


With all of that said some people are probably thinking "Still it's a lot of work and not for me" and that's fine the good news is that everyone is allowed the right to choose how to raise their own children.

There is a learning curve to it and it takes everyone involved a while to get to where they are comfortable changing the babies and making sure they are tight enough so they don't leak out everywhere.

My spousal unit didn't have a hard time adjusting because before our boys he hadn't ever changed a diaper so he just went with what I taught him.

When the boys were smaller (under 8.5 pounds) I used the "old fashioned" prefolds and covers.  I LOVED THESE and sort of wished I still had some.  They were harder but I found that I could fold them to catch things better.  Hands down this is the cheapest option in cloth diapering.  This is a picture of one with the cover on.  I don't have one of the boys with just the cloth part.

Now that they are over 8.5 pounds we use the one size diapers that will grow with them until they are potty trained!  In the pictures below you can see that they are on different snaps to make it work for different sized babies!

They also make velcro which I only had 2 of during the newborn stage because they have the ability to learn to unhook that more so than the snaps!

If you have any questions about cloth diapering I will gladly answer your questions or at least help point you to a source that hopefully can answer them if I can't answer them!  If you cloth leave a comment letting me know your main reasons!

PURPLE crying

I have heard about The Period of PURPLE Crying and in the hospital we were given a DVD about it that I honestly didn't think we needed because hey I'm a professional child care provider I can handle this.

Ummmm no.  

About 3-4 weeks ago Child Unit #2 started crying on a Sunday evening around 5.  He had recently been diagnosed with an inguinal hernia so I of course freaked out that it had become strangulated and we needed to rush to the hospital so I changed his diaper to check.  That wasn't the issue, and even the clean tush didn't seem to help.  

So I made him a small bottle because he had just eaten an hour or so before and shouldn't be that hungry.  That didn't work.

I gave him his pacifier.  That didn't work.

I tried skin to skin.  That didn't work.

I tried rocking him.  That didn't work.

The spousal unit tried holding him and doing skin to skin.  That didn't work.

I tried the pacifier again with rocking.  Still nothing.

An hour and a half later I tried rocking, pacifier, and swaddling him, IT WORKED!

We were both at our wits end and if it hadn't stopped I don't know what we would have done.  I was in tears too!  Thankfully child unit #1 was happy and content this entire time!  When it was over I just sat there holding him tight rocking him and loving him praying that we wouldn't have to deal with it anymore ever again.  

I didn't get what I asked for, every night around 5 I hold my breath to see what is going to happen and he has gotten to the point where he waits until the spousal unit is home before letting loose.  Thankfully I now know what works and I break out the trifecta at the first minute as long as I know it isn't hunger or diaper related.  Once he calms down I can even lay him in the bouncer still swaddled and with his pacifier with me in the kitchen so I can cook dinner.  It isn't every night but it is there every so often!

Needless to say, after that first night of an hour and a half we watched the DVD and were reassured that this is normal and there isn't anything wrong with him!

The word PURPLE is an acronym and stands for:

P: peak of crying

U: unexpected (you can say that again)

R: resists soothing

P: pain like expression

L: long lasting

E: evening

The DVD said that between months 2-3 it's at the worst and then gets better by month 5.  As we approach 3 months this weekend I hope we are coming to the light at the end of the tunnel!

Until next time!