I have had so many people ask me what my biggest surprise of being a mom is, I honestly think the biggest one is how their cries pull at every raw nerve inside of me. I have never been a fan of the Cry It Out method of sleep training with children under 2 because those children do not have the words to express what they need but understand that a modified version to work toward sleeping on their own and developing self soothing techniques is important. It isn't something I ever see myself doing hardcore but we did start working on transitioning from me having to rock them to sleep EVERY NAP AND NIGHT to laying them down with music and awake to work it out themselves. Naptime today just about killed me, Plain and Simple. I laid them down each in their own beds, the same beds that they have slept in most nights since the night they came home from the hospital, you would think these beds transition into beds of nails during the day time based on how they react to being placed in them. I turned on the music walked out and closed the door. I had to start a load of diaper laundry so I figured this would be a good time. I decided that I would let them cry until I got that all taken care of then go back in. It took me 6 minutes, I went in expecting the crying to be coming from Child Unit 1 well I was wrong it was Child Unit 2 who was loosing his mind. Only upon seeing me did Child Unit 1 start! I did a switch between the two of patting backs/rubbing heads until they were both down, 10 minutes and 20 minutes. They proceeded to sleep for 1.5 hours! That's the longest morning nap they have taken in a LONG TIME! Tonight was a bit better so we'll see how it goes!
As a child care provider crying never really got under my skin because it is a part of every day existence. These two babies cry and I do a combination of melting because I have to care for their every wish and need but it also pulls every nerve in my body to that space in your head you only really understand as a mother. It makes me crazy to the fact that I will do whatever it takes to help my child! So needless to say that in the 20 minutes this morning that my perfect angles were crying their little eyes out it broke my heart, but I sat there to let them know I am with them and I love them. I pray it gets better or I will be one of those people who has their children sleeping with them as long as the children want and lets be honest, Child Unit 1 moves too much in his sleep for that to good for anyone!
The love that I have for these boys greatly surpasses anything I could have ever imagined and the fact that it grows so much every day also surprises me as a mother just so that's out there!
No comments:
Post a Comment